that GREEN blog

These 16 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country. So when they declare Martial Law, you’ll know who you’re dealing with…

#16 “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder that the one
you just went through.”

#15 “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new.
They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

#14 “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth
certificate a worthless document.”

#13 “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

#12 “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because
that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”

#11 “You don’t know how fast you were going??? I guess that means
I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

#10 ” Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift
supervisor?”

#9 “Warning!?? You want a warning??? O.K., I’m warning you
not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

#8 “The answer to this last question will determine whether you
are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

#7 “Fair??? You want me to be fair??? Listen, fair is a place where
you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and
step in monkey poop.”

#6 “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my spouse gets a toaster oven.”

#5 “In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”

#4 “How big were those ‘Just two beers’ you say you had?”

#3 “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now
we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

#2 “I’m glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal
friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

*****AND THE WINNER IS:
#1 “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets??
You’re right, we don’t!! Sign here.” ?

TRADITIONAL VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’ Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, ‘We shall overcome.’ Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.

Nancy Peloski, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and t he case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of crack spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008